Life and Times of Dana

Well it looks like I may not get that truck. I thought that I had a three year loan on the Mustang and it turns out that I had a five year loan. That means that the payoff on it is more than the fair market value. The best that I can do is get someone to take over the payments. That will get rid of those payments, but then I wouldn't have enough money to buy the truck.
 
It seems that no matter what I do to straighten things out financially or to get help in entering Canada I'm thwarted at every turn.
 
All my life I have been rather proud of the fact that I could do things on my own, but for the last nine years or so I have been asking for help only when I need it and, while I rarely ask, I have received it. These days I have been all alone again. Whenever I have asked for help or expected people to try and help I get nothing.
 
I guess I should have never expected anything from people. People will always let you down.

Well, I found a pick-up truck yesterday that I like. A full sized Ford F-150 with extended cab and a reese hitch. The dealer hadn't checked it out yet as it just came onto the lot, so I'm not sure what he wants for it. The extended cab will be nice because it'll sit 3 kids or one stretched out Rottweiller.

I hope he doesn't want too much for it. I still have to sell my Mustang so maybe I can work something out with him.

If I get the truck and things don't work out for me and my fiance' I'm going to see if I can find a gutted travel trailer. I'll fix that up the way I want it, because I'll be living in that for some time while I travel. All I need is a place to sleep, eat, and play with my computer, so I won't need much.

Every day is a long day for me lately. I keep busy by working on other peoples computers, but Canada and my fiance' are always on my mind.

I rush home or just out to the mail box every day to see if I have heard anything from the Canadian Consulate and every day is another disappointment.

I received an e-mail from the Minister of Citizenship and Immigration yesterday and it was just another form letter. It told me nothing. The Call Centre only runs me around in a circle. People in the offices that I have e-mailed only send form letters telling me to contact the call centre.

Oh well, another day and another snail mail to be sent.

I've been going through a lot of emotional stuff lately and have come to the decision to move on, one way or another.

As most of you that read this know, I have been fighting to enter Canada for nearly a year now. Ten months and 18 days ago I was turned away at the border, after crossing the border all summer long, because of a felony that I incurred nearly ten years ago while living homeless and on the streets.

This thing that I did so long ago has come back to haunt me in every possible way. I know that I will be allowed to cross, but by then my reasons for doing so might be gone.

So I have come to a decision. There is nothing here in this town to hold me here. I'm selling nearly everything I own and moving on. I hope that by the time I'm ready to move that I will still have a reason to move to Canada. If not, well I'll just travel on to where-ever the roads will lead me.

Four years ago when I came back to this town I fell back in love with living out here in the boonies all over again. I made plans to build a home and set down roots. It's been so long since I have had roots that it felt great to just have somewhere to call home.

Then, A year ago I met and fell in love with a young woman 25 years younger than myself and with three children that I came also to love. I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with them. I thought that Quebec would be just as good a place as any to set down roots and that is when everything started to go wrong. I can't MAKE the government of Canada do things in my time but I can accept doing things in their time. I don't like it, but I can accept it.

I don't know what is going to happen between us at the moment. That decision is up to her, but, whatever the case, I no longer feel as though I have a home here.

So, my dog and I shall prepare to move. I don't know where yet, but a moving we shall go.

I started another blog today. I started to think about all those things in my life that have come to define me and who I am.

I think about that quite often. Why do I do this or why do I do that. Why do people think I'm one way when I'm really another. What drives me. What makes me tick. In some cases can I really change something about myself.

If you want to check it out go to http://www.megz-bytes.net/defining_moments/index.html.

whew! It's been a while.
Things are getting a little rocky with my fiance and me. She is beginning to give up hope that I will ever enter Canada again. I don't blame her. It's been 3 months since she was down here and it has been over ten months since I was turned away at the border and nine months since I filed my application so that I can enter again.
They originally told me I would be there by Christmas, I guess I should have asked which Christmas.

I have embarked on a letter and e-mail campaign writing to politicians, church officials, TV personalities and other figures of power trying to get some one to help out our situation.

So far only the correspondence secretary for Prime Minister Martin of Canada has even bothered to respond. He told me that the Prime Ministers office could not get involved but at least he had the courtesy to respond and be honest with me. That is far more than anyone else has done.

None of the U.S. politicians have even noted my existence.

I'm still waiting on responses from the U.S. and Canadian Lutheran Bishops. That may be a little while yet as I just wrote to them over the weekend.

Oh well, back to work. I'm the only one doing anything it seems. Back to the letters and e-mails. tomorrow I'm also going to start making phone calls.