Life and Times of Dana

All those nights of no sleeping or very little sleeping finally caught up with me. I think I slept most of Sunday and Monday away completely. This morning I'm feeling a lot better than I had been. I have some energy at last and my mind is a little clearer.

I have a couple of computers to go work on today. One got hit by the storms that came through here on Friday and one that had XP service pack 2 installed and now is in perpetual reboot.

I finally got out yesterday and walked the dog, or should I say she walked me. We haven't been out together in over a week so she was raring to go.

I have been working on another story for one of my other blogs and will let you know when I have it up and what the blog name is. 'Til then have a great day.

Whew! Lots of storms around here lately and I've been out driving in them. It makes for some real fun when you can't see where you are going and stopping is almost impossible, but I love driving in this stuff. It's a little nerve wracking but, invigorating.

I finally have a day to myself. Just me and my dog. It's still raining outside but we'll find something to do. Maybe I can get some more web page work done.

The last few days have been rather hectic as I've been putting 150 miles a day on the car, driving from one town to another to work on peoples computers. I think I have everyone all set now. All, that is, except my baby sister's computer. Some idiot came over on Friday and got it all screwed up so it's in perpetual reboot. This guy is supposed to be one of the ITs from the school system too. Tomorrow or Tuesday I'll go get that fixed. I know that it's going to take most of the day because I first have to see if I can save some important files for her, then I can just reload the computer.

For a guy who's trying to get out of the computer repair business, I sure have been busy. Today I have to drive 30 miles west to go work on two computers then abck home to eat lunch and then drive into Toledo to work on another one.

The pastor at that church is driving me nuts with all the work that he needs done and always at the last minute. Last night he called me on my cell phone at 11:30. I thought that it might be an emergency of some kind, so I answered it. I have to talk to that man today about that. I am usually sleeping by that time because I am an early riser.

Oh well, off to get my day started.

It started out as a busy day. I went into the city to work on a video editting computer for one of the churches and had it fixed in a bout half an hour, but later this afternoon the pastor called back and it crashed after installing a new service pack. Guess I'll have to go back tomorrow morning.

I started surfing around today and found a couple of interesting sites for anyone interested in games. If you like old games for Nintendo, Coleco, Atari, or anything like that go to www.romguy.com. He has roms and emulators.
Also found some at dwerkz.6x.to if any body is interested.
I also found a fun site for videos, recordings and jokes if you like risque stuff. I laughed my butt of at some of this stuff. The site requires that you join but it is free and fun, www.naughtyfiles.net.

I had a great time on Sunday at the picnic and got to see some old friends that I haven't seen in a while. I also got to talk to some people in a relaxed setting about some of the things that have been going on with me lately.

On Monday I went to meet a friend in person, that I met in one of the groups I belong to online, and had a very good time with her and her husband. We visited for almost 6 hours and had dinner together. All in all it was a very good day. I got to meet some new people and become better friends. We're going to meet again on Friday, at their house and I'm hoping to invite them over for a cook out before summer is over.

Today was a work day around here. I got the freezer all defrosted (four inch thick frost) and generally cleaned around here. Dumb dog was eating the frozen stuff I was chipping out of the freezer. Everytime some ice hit the floor she had it and started eating it.

Today is going to be my long day. I've been up since 4:30 and I know I won't be home tonight 'til about 9 or later. My home group is having it's annual picnic today and I have to be at the church by 2 so I have to leave here by 1 so that we start to get things set up.
I also have to get this printer installed on this other system so that I can deliver the whole thing tomorrow afternoon. I worked on the system for a couple hours yesterday to make sure everything is in good working order.

My dog almost gave me a heart attack yesterday. There was another dog running loose in the area and coming over and teasing my dog. I kept trying to get the other dog to leave while the owners were calling it back, but they never attempted to come and get there dog until my dog lunged and broke her cable that she was tied to. She ran across the road and when I called her back there was a car speeding down the road. Luckily she listened when I told her to stop and the car barely missed her. As fast as that car was travelling it would have killed her, had it hit her.

With everything else that is going on with me right now that would have destroyed me. My dog is mylife at the moment. She is what keeps me going most days. Although I've been getting out more, just so I don't get into some pity party, and meeting new people, she is still the only one I trust and love to no end. The wonderful thing about her is that whenever she looks up at me I can see the love in her eyes and I know that there is at least one being on this planet that truly loves me and can forgive me any transgressions. She doesn't care about my past, she doesn't look to the future, she only knows the here and now. I wish that I could be more like her.

Looks like this is starting out as a busy weekend. I certainly hope so anyway. I have to get a computer ready for delivery on Monday and I have a big picnic to attend tomorrow. I have to get to that early and help set up the tables and volleyball net.

I like going to this picnic every year. I get to see people that I haven't seen in a while. Play some volleyball, softball or horseshoes, maybe even get in a game of euchre or two.

I managed to get some website work done this week. It wasn't too much but at least its done and I was able to get right back into it after not doing anything for a few weeks.

It's supposed to be nice out today. It's been raining almost all week with temps down into the 60's, so it'll be nice to have temps back up in the 80's this week. No rain predicted for today so I'll probably wash and wax the car too.

What a day today was. Got another computer ready to go out the door and Tom came over to pick his daughters computer up. We had a good time while he was here. He doesn't get out this way very much and we don't see each other as often as we used to.

Met a couple from a couple of towns over and it looks like I'll be going over there next week to fix their laptop.

The worst part of the day was when I ran over one of my cats while backing out of the driveway. Spit (the cat) ran across in back of me and before I could do anything I ran her over and killed her. So, I buried another cat. I'm really beginning to hate all these cats dying around here. I've buried 5 little ones from them getting snap pneumonia this week and now Spit.

As bad as I feel about that, the only thing I worry about is my dog. If anything would ever happen to her I would be lost. She's all I really have.

I'm still not sleeping very well. Only got 4 hours tonight.

I still have 2 computers to get running right, I got one going after three weeks of frustration. And I finally got my computer reloaded the way I want it.

This High speed cable is really nice after spending all those years on dial up. I have been on dial-up since 1988 and started out with a 600 baud modem. If you think 56K is slow try 600 baud. Gotta remember though, back then we didn't have the internet as it is today. The WWW hadn't been invented yet. We used BBS and direct connections to other peoples computers and gopher.

Anyway, things are getting better with me and I have a picnic to go to this weekend and a lead to give the following weekend.

I just wish I could get this sleep problem solved but I guess it'll just take some time. All this stuff has driven up my blood pressure again and the Doc told me the other day that if I can't get it back down by October then I go on meds. I'm sure that I can once I can get relaxed. That's probably most of my problem with not sleeping.

Oh well, gotta get this day started. It's 5:30 and I have been up since 3.

I'm getting back into doing web page work again. I haven't felt too much like doing it lately. It's good to get back to it. I seem to lose myself in the work and it's something I really enjoy. Besides I don't have to interact with people while I'm doing it.

Buried a couple more kittens yesterday. We had a cold snap and I think they got pneumonia. Not many kittens left I put a sign out by the road a few days ago for free kittens and most of them are gone now.

Got a busy day ahead of me today. Gotta finish up three computers and get them back to their owners. Already have most of my stuff packed up for moving and I have to call for a dumpster to get rid of all the other crap.

I still have to find a new place to live, but I've been looking. I can't stay here forever. Since I gave the property back to the trust it was on the condition that I move out within a year and the year is almost over. I don't forsee a problem in staying a little longer as my mother is the head of the trust, but she won't live forever and she isn't in all that good of health.

Gotta get an auctioneer out to my storage facility. Everyone that said they were interested in buying my old computer equipment has bailed on me, so, I'll just sell it all at auction.

The weekend is over and I'm feeling better today. I still don't getmuch sleep because I have a hard time getting to sleep. Too much going through my head yet. I found that if I go to sleep with the TV on I can still get about four hours sleep, but I still wake up and go online for a few minutes and then have to try and get back to sleep.

I put up a new page for you guys that are recovered or recovering alcoholics and drug addicts. You can read the main text of the Big Book of Alcoholics there or even download it to your own computers along with a copy of the fourth step inventory.

Just go to the Big Book page and download or read it to your hearts content.

I have been doing a lot of reading and research lately so I just thought that this might be handy for some of you.

Man I'm having a rough night tonight. I've been listening to Sarah McLachlan all evening and Evanesence and thinking about my Ex.

Sometimes, like tonight, I want her to call or see my messenger on and talk to me. I miss her so much it hurts. But, what am I gonna do. If she calls I don't think I could talk to her and I really don't want the hurt to go any deeper. This is one time that I don't know if I can ever really heal. I wish she had talked to me in depth about her feelings before she had made her decision. It would have been much easier to take. One minute we were talking about being together, even though I knew she was going through some crap, and the next minute we're over. Just like that. We're over.

You would think that if you considered someone to be "more then a friend" that you could talk to them about anything.

I don't think I ever leave my desk and the computer anymore. I don't even take pleasure in fixing computers anymore. I'm tired and I just want this to end. For me I don't think it will. I was taken out of the relationship without any discussion at all. If she had talked to me and told me in depth about her feelings I might have understood, but she never did.

I made the decision to get out of the computer business today. I have decided to start selling some of my writings and have opened up a store on the web for me to sell e-books.

Most of the books that I plan on selling will be written by me but, I am also going to make it available for others to sell their works there too.

I don't expect to make much money doing this. I just enjoy writing and I would rather sit here at my desk writing than to go out anywhere.

As soon as I have a few ebooks up on the site for sale I will add a link to my blog pages and begin submitting it too search engines. I get to do two of my favorite things in this endeavor. I get to write and I get to do HTML.

I'm off to edit my first book now. I wrote it some time ago and it's time to publish it. I'm sure it needs some polishing.

Last night was the first time in over a week that I got a full nights sleep. I've been having to go to sleep with the TV on so that my brain can focus on something other than what has been going on.

Yesterday I did a fourth and fifth step and also sent out a letter to my ex-fiance as a ninth step. I feel much better in doing so. I know where I went wrong in that relationship. Now, on with life.

I'll sure be glad when this run of bad luck is over with.

My computer has crashed three times over the last week and a half so badly that I've had to rebuild it twice and re-install Windows twice (I still have to re-install Linux).

I now have twelve little kittens running around outside. There was another one but she died last night. I just found her yesterday and tried to save her but, I knew she wasn't going to make it. Had to try though.

I'm still hurt over the way my fiance ended things. She didn't even talk in any length about what was happening with her, at least not with me. I've had to get rid of anything that even reminds me of her including all pictures of her and the kids and four and a half years worth of saved e-mails. Time to move on I guess.

It's been really hard moving on lately. I tear up at the drop of a hat. Yesterday I took a drive and all it did was to remind me of the long drives that we used to take.

What a week! Two hours after I ordered high speed cable for my internet connection my computer puked (I just got it up and running yesterday) and I had to use an old Pentium 500mhz computer to do my work.

My fiance' decided to call everything off without any discussion with me. I knew she was having problems with us being so far apart, but she wouldn't discuss things with me, instead she discussed things with her ex who has an ulterior motive for seeing us broken up. I still can't get over the fact that she used e-mail to call it off. It's not like she doesn't have my phone number.

I haven't slept right in days, not since Friday. I have to do something soon before I go nuts.

My glasses broke on Monday night and today I have to go get them fixed or get an eye appointment and get new ones.

I'm also thinking about getting out of the computer business. I gave most of my business away in the thought of moving to Canada so it's not what it usually is. Most of my old customers think that I have already moved so they call other people to do the work and I'm getting tired of it all.

I am presently re-assessing my life and where I want to go now. I have poured everything I have into getting into Canada and starting a new life and now that's gone too. Now I have to find a new direction. I have been doing more writing lately so maybe I'll head in that direction.

It finally happened. My fiance is now my ex-fiance. Believe it or not she did it through e-mail. That's probably the coldest way a person can end a relationship.

So now to pick up the pieces. I gave my property back to the trust last september so that I could get the cash I needed to move to Canada and buy a new place as well as to pay for a wedding and it is all gone now. So I have to start looking for a new place soon. I don't need much.

I'm planning on doing some travelling now and just going where the seasons take me. Down south or out west in the winter and up north in the summer.

At least my dog still loves me. She's the only one that I can truly count on anymore.